Just when you thought the last 'Phantom' had been exorcised from the 'Opera', the shiny suits of entertainment world unveil yet another dastardly product extension plan to torment us all.

Hot on the heels of the notorius Jerry Springer Musical which features everything from tap-dancing Ku Klux Klan members to a gay Jesus, the hirsute Donald has announced his own plans for Broadway stardom with an all singing, all dancing version of 'The Apprentice'.

Not that we should be surprised. It was only inevitable that reality television would eventually become television invading reality. As for Trump - stay tuned for Mr Mistoffelees purring "Your Fired!" in a Lloyd Webber chorus line.

Oh the horror, the horror.